@thebeckyard: Always carry $10,000 cash on you at all times in case you ever feeling like getting a meal at an airport.
@thebeckyard: I see you are eating seafood at a midwest Chinese buffet. I, too, like to live dangerously.
@thebeckyard: "Mom, you need to calm down with how much cheese you've been buying."
*silently writes him out of my will*
@thebeckyard: Angry beavers can't get our packaging open, but go ahead and try in your weakened state lol
-cold medicine companies
@thebeckyard: Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth.
@thebeckyard: Accidentally used 13's shower gel, so I just copped a huge attitude, yelled at everyone and slammed some doors.
@thebeckyard: Me: Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family! Dishonor on your house!
Olive Garden server: Please stop! I'll bring more cheese to grate!
@thebeckyard: I was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.