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Page of thenatewolf's best tweets

@thenatewolf : Sorry, Babe, it's over.

*I get on my motorcycle but I can't get it to start so I use my feet to scoot away*

@thenatewolf: *Doctor finishes the exam*

"I have bad news. If you box again it will kill you"

"I'm so mad I could pun-"

*Doctor looks over his glasses*

@thenatewolf: My love is like the sea, the deeper it gets the weirder it gets.

@thenatewolf: *You at a concert* Dancing, singing, feeling the beat, letting loose.

*Me at a concert* Waiting for the bass player to make eye contact and then giving a thumbs up so they know they’re doing a good job and someone cares.

@thenatewolf: ME: Being a scientist is just asking questions. So, in a way, we’re all scientists.

ACTUAL SCIENTIST: No. Becoming a scientist requires years of-

ME: Looking up at the stars in wonderment. I hear you, respected peer.

@thenatewolf: I saw a woman with the same haircut as me the other day and I wanted to be like “Same haircut!” but I didn’t because no matter what kind of day she’s having she doesn’t need that right now.

@thenatewolf: ME IN PUBLIC: I don’t believe in ghosts.

ME WHEN I’M ALONE AND HEAR ANY CREAK IN THE HOUSE: Pappy?

@thenatewolf: *She gazes lovingly into my eyes*

HER: What are you thinking about?

ME: [remembering my contractual obligations] How Lexus continues to redefine luxury year after year.

@thenatewolf: *Trying to come up with the most romantic thing I could possibly say*

You’re like if my friend Brent was a girl.

@thenatewolf: BATMAN: All this crime... it’s really starting to get to me. Maybe I should take a break.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: [Thinking about how much work he had to do before Batman] That’s exactly what The Joker wants.