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@thestlouisan : Oh, lovely. You're doing your jogging in the street. Where cars drive.
@thestlouisan: - Password must be stronger -
Goddammit, the only meat we've had in months has spoiled
Goddammit, there's a seed in this watermelon
@thestlouisan: I do this thing where I reply "Maybe" to calendar invites I receive from my wife for date nights she's planned.
I sleep on the couch a lot.
@thestlouisan: I Don't Know, In The House Somewhere
-A family autobiography
@thestlouisan: WHERE IS THE CHRISTMAS TREE EMOJI THIS IS A GODDAMN WAR ON CHRISTMAS IVE HAD ENOUGH OF TH-- oh there it is
@thestlouisan: *opens bathroom door so everyone can hear me washing my hands*
@thestlouisan: I Really Didn't Think I'd Need A Cart
~ A Costco Story ~
@thestlouisan: A young cephalopod breaks from the school.
Swimming mightily, he strives to avoid becoming calamari.
He has [looks at camera] squid goals.
@thestlouisan: *walks into adult superstore*
Yes, one adult please.