@thestlouisan

Oh, lovely. You’re doing your jogging in the street. Where cars drive.

@thestlouisan

– Password must be stronger –

ME: mybodyodorafterexercisingjkidontexercise

@thestlouisan

[1340]
Goddammit, the only meat we’ve had in months has spoiled

[2017]
Goddammit, there’s a seed in this watermelon

@thestlouisan

I do this thing where I reply “Maybe” to calendar invites I receive from my wife for date nights she’s planned.

I sleep on the couch a lot.

@thestlouisan

WHERE IS THE CHRISTMAS TREE EMOJI THIS IS A GODDAMN WAR ON CHRISTMAS IVE HAD ENOUGH OF TH– oh there it is

@thestlouisan

A young cephalopod breaks from the school.
Swimming mightily, he strives to avoid becoming calamari.
He has [looks at camera] squid goals.