@thisislizz

I just yelled ‘Jayden’ at the mall and now I’m a mom to like 20 kids.

@thisislizz

Things would be so much simpler if everything was as easy as your mom.

@thisislizz

The D word that everyone’s been feeling at work is depression. I guessed the wrong word, apparently.

Aaaaand there’s HR calling me. Brb.

@thisislizz

Dear Tech Support,

I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?