@thomas_violence

boy: i hate being poor
grandpa: were going to fun factory
mr chocolate: hello naughty children its murder time

@thomas_violence

people in fantasy novels absolutely love removing from their knapsack some bread and hard cheese

@thomas_violence

reading rob zombie’s name is a real wild ride. at first you’re like “rob? ok, i know what we’re dealing with here”. then things get weird

@thomas_violence

(after spending 15 minutes ripping a video off instagram and reposting it to twitter) who did this 😂😂😂😂😂

@thomas_violence

the only time I can imagine clicking on a Facebook story is maybe if I got attacked by a bird while trying to do something else

@thomas_violence

windows 8: i got some updates
me: cool
windows: i have to restart
me: okay not now
windows: im going to
me: please dont
windows: lol

@thomas_violence

‘gamer’ & ‘foodie’ are bullshit labels because they suggest you are something b/c you passively enjoy something everyone passively enjoys

@thomas_violence

look, men and women are BIOLOGICALLY different. ever since the cave man times boys have loved cars and girls have loved toy ovens