@ticknada

Anyone that says I’m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months

@ticknada

Cops: You were driving while intoxicated

Me: I was in no condition to walk

@ticknada

Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don’t fool me. Oh that’s your bf. You still don’t fool me.

@ticknada

Everyone is an atheist until you zip your fly up too quick

Then its all Lord Jesus please help

@ticknada

Cops: You were driving while intoxicated nnMe: I was in no condition to walk