@titanmoon10

Who called it a Cold Sore and not a Public Display of Infection

@titanmoon10

I hate when you have 47 items and the cashier asks, “Do you need a bag?” Oh no, I’m heading right back to the circus, so I’ll just juggle all this shit for 6 miles”

@titanmoon10

[ IDEA ]

An alarm clock where Samuel Jackson just keeps yelling at you until you get up