@travisauruss

MAN TO LIZARD: “SO I HEAR YOU’RE IN FLOORING SALES”

LIZARD: “IM MORE IN PROMOTION”

MAN: “WHAT DO YOU DO”

LIZARD: “I REP TILE”

@travisauruss

I think the closest I’ve come to playing romantic music at a girl’s window is when I forgot to turn down “Eye Of The Tiger” at the drivethru

@travisauruss

Blood is thicker than water.
But maple syrup is thicker than blood.
So pancakes are more important than family.
I said it.