@treydayway

It’s getting disrespectful how long it takes for me to scroll to my birth year

@treydayway

“I never trust anything from the government!”

*uses highways

@treydayway

I’m going to be the most petty poltergeist ever. I’ll do things like unplug your phone charging overnight

@treydayway

I’m getting birthday cake because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere

@treydayway

In 6th grade I had an ugly pimple on my nose that left a scar and I told my friend I got bitten by a spider…dude called me Batman because he didn’t know shit about comics

@treydayway

Not sure what a Shakira coochie board is but white people really like it

@treydayway

Only thing I miss about life prior to this pandemic is going to people’s houses just to eat their food and then immediately leave

@treydayway

It’s not a gang sign, I just have rheumatoid arthritis

@treydayway

Was driving to a doctor’s appointment and ended up at my favorite donut shop so life does find a way

@treydayway

How the hell is Arby’s still in business? In nearly 37 years I’ve never heard, “Let’s go to Arby’s.”