@trojansauce

[me as a poltergeist]
*putting an empty milk carton back in the fridge* ooooOooOooooo

@trojansauce

something amazing about the original ghost busters movie is that it was made in the 80s before the invention of special effects so they had to cast actual ghosts

@trojansauce

[me as a poltergeist]
*replacing the coffee with decaf* ooooOooOooooo

@trojansauce

[alien in starbucks to make a cash withdrawal]

well, the name is misleading tbh

@trojansauce

[first day as a funeral photographer]
ok now let’s try a silly one

@trojansauce

[me as a computer scientist] *pouring a computer into a test tube*

@trojansauce

ME: can we pull over and get mcdonalds im hungry
KIDNAPPER: omg shut up

@trojansauce

got fired from my job in the funeral home for inventing casketball

@trojansauce

DATE: how about we move this to the bedroom?

ME: give me one minute

*i kiss all my beanie babies on the head and put them on the ground*