Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@tsm560 : Go ahead and knock food that contains GMOs in the meantime this hotdog just started my car.
@tsm560: Look lady I don’t need yours or anybody’s help in looking foolish okay?
@tsm560: Received DM of the day:
Them: Why are you so angry?
Me: Why are you so stupid?
@tsm560: Her: Your ego is kind of inflated isn’t it
Me: Not really. It’s always been this big
@tsm560: She brings out the best in me and there’s just no way I’m putting up with that
@tsm560: Your tweets remind me of a Rubik’s Cube. I can’t figure those out either
@tsm560: Someday I’m gonna miss this place. I can’t wait for that day
@tsm560: That moment of sheer panic when you're wrist deep in the Pringles can, and you begin rehearsing your story for the ER attendant.
@tsm560: Me: Is it open casket?
Friend: It’s a wedding!
Me: Oh god nobody wants to see that
@tsm560: Just got blocked by a longtime friend here and I’m trying to get over it
I’m over it