@tsm560

I’d be so lost without a sense of humor I don’t know how most of you do it

@tsm560

You’re gonna take google’s word over mine? Fine. FINE.

@tsm560

What do people who announce their own birthday on here want from us

@tsm560

When someone hasn’t tweeted in a while I always wonder if they’re okay… as if being on here is a sign of mental and emotional stability

@tsm560

I’ve had a pot of coffee and two energy drinks and you can’t even tell, I say from the ceiling

@tsm560

No Brenda, Machu Picchu isn’t a Pokémon

@tsm560

Friend of mine is convinced this whole virus thing is a hoax. It’s hard to doubt him because he also knows exactly where they’re hiding the aliens in Area 51

@tsm560

I just blocked myself. I’m not putting up with this shit either.

@tsm560

Numbers don’t mean anything to me. I’m here for the deep abiding friendships with people who haven’t blocked me yet

@tsm560

Go ahead and knock food that contains GMOs in the meantime this hotdog just started my car.