It’s not much of a tattoo. More of an inkling.
Her: Easy, cowboy. I’m not having unprotected sex.
Me: No worries!
Her: Where are you going?
Me: To lock the front door.
Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
People who say they’ll be late for their own funeral*
*trust me. you’ll make it.
Reverse psychology is like regular psychology except the woman is facing the other way.
If history is any indication a lot more stuff is bound to happen.
Hey girl, are you bacteria? Because I know I need you but I have no idea why.
The only thing I arouse is suspicion.
*thinks happy thoughts*
*throws pixie dust in your eyes*
*flies off with all your money*
Me: I really don’t have any bad habits to speak of.
Her: So you have no bad habits?
Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I’d want to speak of.