@uccjeb

When I see 18 wheelers carrying something covered with a tarp, I just assume that it’s an injured Transformer.

@uccjeb

Alarm clock that releases spiders… NOW you’re up. Million dollar idea.

@uccjeb

Just saw 666 on a license plate and, in case you guys were wondering, Satan drives a Jeep.

@uccjeb

Just killed a spider IN MY BED!! So if you need me, I’ll be burning down my home and looking for a new place to live.