@unmehlievable

My ex is on Facebook saying how much he misses travelling, like he ever went further than the pub

@unmehlievable

I once planned a trip around Australia using a dial-up computer that took longer than the trip itself

@unmehlievable

If Bats in Australia are THIS big, I’d hate to see the size of their Vampires

@unmehlievable

Me: So there are 365 days in a year, yet there are 52 weeks consisting of 7 days each, which equals 364 days. Where does that extra da…

Guy at the bar: I think I see my friends

@unmehlievable

Encourage your children to be unfriendly so you can keep your weekends free of other kids’ parties.

@unmehlievable

I like men who play hard to get.

So when my Fiancé called off the wedding and started dating my Brother, I knew he was the one for me.