…and the award for best lead actress in a dramatic role goes to me for “I Have A Sinus Infection, Why Don’t You Care That I’m Dying”
Unknown person parked their car in my driveway, now it’s my car.
That’s how that works, right?
You’d think these people on Grey’s Anatomy would’ve already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May.
“I am as misquoted as Marilyn Monroe.”
– Abe Lincoln
I have too much stuff in my closet, so no one can be certain Tom Cruise isn’t hanging out in there, too.
*wipes pizza grease & sauce off mouth*
Dinosaurs never had peanut butter and jelly and they all died.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
You’re missing the point and possibly a chromosome…
When someone yells “STOP!” I never know if it’s Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen.