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@ventivodkacran : ...and the award for best lead actress in a dramatic role goes to me for "I Have A Sinus Infection, Why Don't You Care That I'm Dying"
@ventivodkacran: Unknown person parked their car in my driveway, now it's my car.
That's how that works, right?
@ventivodkacran: You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May.
@ventivodkacran: "I am as misquoted as Marilyn Monroe."
- Abe Lincoln
@ventivodkacran: I have too much stuff in my closet, so no one can be certain Tom Cruise isn't hanging out in there, too.
@ventivodkacran: *wipes pizza grease & sauce off mouth*
@ventivodkacran: Dinosaurs never had peanut butter and jelly and they all died.
@ventivodkacran: This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
@ventivodkacran: You're missing the point and possibly a chromosome...
@ventivodkacran: When someone yells "STOP!" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen.