Not at work.
This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell.
Me: Did you play video games all day?
Me: What else did you do?
9: I ate lunch
To everyone who ever doubted me, all I have to say to you is…lucky guess.
This restaurant should really be giving me a discount for ordering carryout and not bringing my kids inside.
Found $0.83 under my pillow.
It appears that I still have all of my teeth so now I’m a little worried about what I was paid for.
Her: How in the world did we max out the credit card??
Me: Beats me
*pushes $20K worth of Care Bears under the bed
I may not be book smart or street smart and I may not have much common sense and I’m really not sure where I was going with this.
All I’m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn’t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after EVERY use.
I was voted “most friendly” at my high school in 10th grade.
It was at this point in my life that I knew serious changes were in order.