@vladchoc

Nice try, theatre ad. But some of us don’t need to put our phones on silent, for we have prevented calls with our deplorable personalities.

@vladchoc

Hey look, Grandma! You made the cover of “Didn’t Make Me Any Cookies Weekly” again. “What good is she to anyone?” it says.

@vladchoc

For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say “Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?”

@vladchoc

Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.