@walks_on_legs

Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I’ll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!

@walks_on_legs

Throwing burgers around furniture because I have a hunch that termites only eat wood because they have not tried anything tastier.

@walks_on_legs

Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents.

@walks_on_legs

Being Man, a territorial animal, I assert dominance by sending Facebook Pokes.

@walks_on_legs

What is this special type of waffle called a “Tennis racket” and why does it taste like metal wires?