@wife3kidsnodogs

Wife: I’m hungry!
Me: I’ll order pizza
Wife: YOU THINK I’M FAT!
Me: *whispering* Has it been 28 days already?
Wife: WHAT?!
Me: what what??

@wife3kidsnodogs

How come an extremely angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour,
but it takes her a week to pack for vacation?