Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of wolfpupy's best tweets

@wolfpupy : i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier

@wolfpupy: the blood of the innocent will run in the streets? maybe it should get a car or at least use the sidewalk

@wolfpupy: if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance

@wolfpupy: ever since i put all my eggs in one basket i have received unsolicited egg advice, you dont know my life, you dont know what im all about

@wolfpupy: i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won

@wolfpupy: (sees someone doing a texas chainsaw massacre) um can you not

@wolfpupy: if you are getting the names Jon and John confused call them by their full names, Jonaldo and Johnaldo

@wolfpupy: cat: mew
me: actually its about games in journalism
*cat continues to ask for food*

@wolfpupy: dont put all your eggs in one basket, put them in the little egg tray in the fridge thats what its for you idiot

@wolfpupy: people get sad when a bird flys into a window but when i do it its a big hassle