*Runs 6 miles*
*Adds Kenyan to resume*
We’ve got people working on world peace, and I’m here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient’s chocolate without her noticing.
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
5yo: OMG I’M STARVING I NEED TO EAT I’M GONNA DIIIIIEE!!
*eats 3 fries*
5yo: Can I be done?
I’m about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose.
Hubs: If you could sleep with…
Hubs: …the fan off tonight, that’d be great.
No one wants to feel like an obligation. Either commit to them or leave.
It’s my mom’s personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind.
Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I’d be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit.
I’m married, but not “pass up the opportunity to sleep with Thor” married. Or Wolverine. Or Captain America. Or Jennifer Aniston…