Angel: So what is this?
God: The alligator
Angel: Why, it looks like the crocodile
God: It’s the android version
[ Fist bump ]
Am sorry I asked you ‘Who is the father’ when you told me your wife is pregnant.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man how to fish and he’ll spend his time singing baby shark from the boat.
If Noah was not holding ‘ Control ‘ while selecting the animals that were to enter the ark, then the Bible is a lie to me.
Cauliflower is just cabbage rocking an afro.
[ Spelling bee ]
Your word is Harry Potter
Voldermort: Avada Kedavra!
* Gets out of a 10 year old coma * Me: Where am I? Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!
Dad: Where were you?
Earth wire: Hanging out with live and Neutral
Dad: You grounded
Sex is great, yes but have you ever had water come out of your ear after it stayed there two days after swimming? OMG
Breakups is just a fancy name for what happens when men win arguments.