Gf: am I pretty or ugly?
Bf: you’re both hun 🙂
Gf: what do you mean both?
Bf: you’re pretty ugly.
Mom: you failed your english test, didn’t you?
Me: who telled you?
What if Aliens don’t want to visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.
I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.