Two more rolls of duct tape and I should have this tv mounted.
*Leaves a trail of chicken nuggets leading to the bedroom instead of rose petals.
Listen. If cauliflower can be pizza dough, you can literally do anything.
I wonder if anyone has ever tweeted about how much they love coffee in the morning?
I don’t want to have sex with you, but I don’t want anyone else to either.
My jelly donut didn’t have any jelly in it, so I don’t want to hear about your trivial issues.