@yeaanotherchris

*Leaves a trail of chicken nuggets leading to the bedroom instead of rose petals.

@yeaanotherchris

I wonder if anyone has ever tweeted about how much they love coffee in the morning?

@yeaanotherchris

I don’t want to have sex with you, but I don’t want anyone else to either.

-marriage

@yeaanotherchris

My jelly donut didn’t have any jelly in it, so I don’t want to hear about your trivial issues.