Goodnight neighbor’s Christmas lights that’ll stay up til June
I told my kids to stop fighting, so now they’re playing with dolls who are fighting.
I successfully hid chocolate chip cookies from my children, making today’s parenting score:
My toddler said “I’m happy” and then “We’re best friends.” But it turns out she was talking to her cheese.
“Don’t play with your food,” I say to a toddler eating crackers shaped like farm animals.
Parenting goals before having kids: make tons of blanket forts, never lose your temper, appreciate every minute.
After: sit down.
The hardest part of parenting is sharing the chocolate chip cookies. And your heart walking around outside your body. But mainly cookies.
As a kid, I always wondered why my mom never wore the macaroni necklace I made her to work. And now I’m a mom and I’m like, Oh. OK.
The first rule of Fight Club is to have a sibling.
A GPS. But for where your story is going.