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Page of yonewt's best tweets

@yonewt : Make me wait this long there'd better be a foam masterpiece on my cappuccino, don't even try to appease me with a fern

@yonewt: This is your yearly reminder to not put bananas in fruit salads

@yonewt: The greeting cards that best express my sentiments for every occasion are the ones marked "Blank Inside."

@yonewt: *rapidly pushing elevator button*
no of course please tell me about your keto journey

@yonewt: Woo-hoo wife is gone for the evening so you know what that means
*practices repertoire of silly walks all over the house
*adds two new ones

@yonewt: Then: I love to hear the sound of your voice

Now: ASK ME ONE MORE TIME IF I TURNED OFF THE GRILL I SWEAR TO GOD

@yonewt: Coming home to my dog reeking of hamburgers and betrayal

@yonewt: If my neighbor’s front yard is historically accurate baby Jesus was also visited by Spiderman

@yonewt: It seems Bichon Frisé is a dog breed and not, as indicated in the recipe, a fancy salad green. We regret any confusion this may have caused.

@yonewt: How To Be Interesting:

Never pronounce "Ray Liotta" the same way twice