@yonewt

the crows and the ducks are having a turf war in my backyard it’s like the squawkiest version of west side story ever

@yonewt

my effort to help others during the pandemic is replying “I’m having the same issue” to every question in Apple Community

@yonewt

panicked at the grocery store and came home with a pineapple

@yonewt

I hope this flight attendant noticed how promptly I returned my seat back and tray table to their full upright position.

@yonewt

The sirens stopped in front of my house, I should probably have a gander brb

@yonewt

*trying to do a quick errand*

Person In Front Of Me: I have so many questions about stamps

@yonewt

Make me wait this long there’d better be a foam masterpiece on my cappuccino, don’t even try to appease me with a fern

@yonewt

This is your yearly reminder to not put bananas in fruit salads

@yonewt

The greeting cards that best express my sentiments for every occasion are the ones marked “Blank Inside.”

@yonewt

*rapidly pushing elevator button*
no of course please tell me about your keto journey