of course you were in it i told you it was a nightmare
i don’t give a shit what you losers think i’m clapping when the plane lands
just a heads-up any of you wander onto my property and say “hi! i’m from twitter!” i’m turning on the sprinklers
this town’s getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse
screw it let’s just name every sports team after colored socks
psa: clockwise doesn’t change just because you’re left-handed
my favorite part of nextdoor is seeing neighbors toss around the latest street slang such as ‘casing the joint’
add excitement to your marriage by putting soap in one of the cast-iron pans
in the movies everyone can hotwire a car in ten seconds meanwhile it takes me twenty minutes to find the gas flap release on a rental
familiarity breeds contempt yes but honestly what doesn’t
verbiage sounds like something you’re not getting enough of in your diet