@zacharyflynn

Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i’m marrying your dad

@zacharyflynn

You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no.

@zacharyflynn

One time a girl told me to take off her shirt and I was like wow ok it doesn’t really fit me anyway.

@zacharyflynn

If I knew how to pull a rabbit out of a hat I would never stop. Rabbits are great.

@zacharyflynn

Worried that one day pillows will take over and start making forts out of us.

@zacharyflynn

How about a game where Mario gets a job and gets his coins like the rest of us.

@zacharyflynn

How to get a girl to like you:

1. Become a lion tamer
2. Release a lion on her
3. Tame it right before it kills her
4. Take her to Chili’s?

@zacharyflynn

If a mouse family ever stole my iPhone and used it as a flat screen TV then I’m okay with it as long as they’re happy.