Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of zachreinert03's best tweets

@zachreinert03 : I only eat free range chicken because I only eat food that was given the illusion of freedom before it was murdered

@zachreinert03: I got fired from being the events coordinator at the local orphanage. I think it's cause family day never really took off

@zachreinert03: Saw a sticker that said "my son was an honor student". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now

@zachreinert03: I was watching tv with my mom & she was amazed a blind guy didn't care his son was missing & I was like outta sight outta mind am I right

@zachreinert03: I think the term copycat serial killer is a bullshit term. They can't kill the same people as the other guy

@zachreinert03: Any dance can be a no pants dance. In fact, might be a fun way to bring back the Macarena

@zachreinert03: I've never understood the whole 'burying people for fun at the beach'. The cops will just find the bodies when the tide comes

@zachreinert03: I think marriage is probably like having a business partner. No that's not true, probably weird if your business partner takes your kids

@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos

@zachreinert03: Did you guys know on average 3 confused cannibals get punched in the face a year because they say yes to wanting a knuckle sandwich