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@Shen_the_Bird: genie: i will grant you any wish me: i wish soup was spelled like soop genie: [frowning] no
@JosesLovesYou: *barges into bank with guns drawn Alright everyone now be cool and no one gets hurt! *hands out sunglasses all around Nice. Nice.
@InternetHippo: [inventing dialup internet] What should it sound like when it's connecting? [guy in the back stands up confidently] Pterodactyls
@jewfacekilla: "Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!"- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear