@ragsy_: Verizon is selling off tumblr already, like someone who bought a doll at a garage sale that was labeled "WARNING: THIS DOLL IS HAUNTED", took it home, got tormented by a ghost, then went "hey, I think this thing is haunted"
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@aveuaskew: My neighbors have been calling for their cat for 15 minutes. I've been meowing out the window for 30.
@TheKrisWilson: A gingerbread man sits inside a gingerbread house. Is the house made of flesh? Or is he made of house? He screams, for he does not know.
@Tmoney68: [Corporate Olive Garden meeting, 1985] Jesus: Let's do unlimited breadsticks. CEO: How can we supply that many? Jesus: *winks at camera*
@envydatropic: How long before your caterpillars will turn into butterflies? Me looking at your eyebrows