@lucyjamesgames: Video game dad jokes are the best dad jokes
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@MythicPicnic: Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans.
@Breaking911: A Brazilian gang leader tried to escape from prison by dressing up as his daughter when she visited him behind bars and walking out the penitentiary’s main door in her place. He was stopped walking out for looking suspicious.
@iwearaonesie: [Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*