wait I thought laser eye surgery meant I get laser eyes

You Might Also Like


The government be like “please throw your grandma into an active volcano, the economy demands a sacrifice”


You can literally take anything from anyone as long as you shout “police emergency” and run away


When a squirrel runs on the road then turns around quickly is it because he thinks he left his little squirrel iron on?



Me: I’ll have a grande vanilla latte.

Barista: Soy milk?

Me: Hola Milk. Una gran latte de vainilla por favor.


My Daddy taught me to lick it before I stick it- I say to the judges as I hang a spit covered spoon from my nose.


Everyone is acting like they’re all excited for the eclipse like anyone will even look up from their phone


GERG: She licked ur donut?


GERG: gross!

JERY: she also said she “hates america”

GERG: Donut licking traitor!


It’s weird how in England the passenger drives the car