@hansabumsadaisy

Waiter, Waiter, I don’t eat meat, fish, eggs, gluten or dairy. What do you recommend?

A taxi.

#WaiterJokes #RubbishJokes #Puns #DadJokes

You Might Also Like

@extranapkins

The jerk store called? But, that jerk store burned down ten years ago… on this very night

@tastefactory

[ghost writes YOUR DEAD in condensation on bathroom mirror]
“My dead what?”
[ghost writes *YOU’RE]
AAHHHHHHHHHH!

@1970RobD

The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.

#1PUN

@leshnevsky

40 years later:
– Grandpa, sing me a song of your youth.
– Oppa Gangnam Style. Opp, opp, opp, opp!

@TheAlexP

* Finds what I’m looking for

* Can’t remember why I was looking

@Breadery

I taught my daughter to whistle a few days ago and now I’m teaching her that whistling can lead to adoption.

@ItsAndyRyan

Interviewer: Is it true you are the first duck to be made a duke?
Duck: Please address me as ‘M’llard’