The jerk store called? But, that jerk store burned down ten years ago… on this very night
Waiter, Waiter, I don’t eat meat, fish, eggs, gluten or dairy. What do you recommend?
#WaiterJokes #RubbishJokes #Puns #DadJokes
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[ghost writes YOUR DEAD in condensation on bathroom mirror]
“My dead what?”
[ghost writes *YOU’RE]
The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
narrator: and here we see the majestic bal-
toupeed eagle: what?
People think I’m a good listener but I’m really just solid at nodding
40 years later:
– Grandpa, sing me a song of your youth.
– Oppa Gangnam Style. Opp, opp, opp, opp!
* Finds what I’m looking for
* Can’t remember why I was looking
I taught my daughter to whistle a few days ago and now I’m teaching her that whistling can lead to adoption.
Interviewer: Is it true you are the first duck to be made a duke?
Duck: Please address me as ‘M’llard’