4: can we name the baby Yoko?
Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name
4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko?
Waiter, Waiter, I would like some lamb chops and make them lean.
Certainly Sir, forwards or backwards?
#WaiterJokes #RubbishJokes #Puns #DadJokes
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Your word is Monogamous.
*2 Judges stare at each other*
1st judge *nods*
2nd judge: “We’ll allow it”
[First Day As A Director]
Me: [forgot how to end a scene] *tackles the cameraman*
detective: looks like the victim was pushed into the pond, let’s go pull him out
[ducks under the police tape]
detective: and get these ducks outta here
Captain: what kind of lettuce do u want on your sandwich
First mate: ICEBERG
Captain: lol no need to shout, Dave
To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon…
Some jerk called me “pretentious” so I called him a “planktupus.” I can make up nonsense words too.
There’s this guy at work who’s always putting on a sweatshirt. No one’s ever seen his face.
I think COVID-19 is just a ploy by Netflix to get people to stay in and actually watch Adam Sandler movies.
I just saw an 8 year old hipster.
Your move, apocalypse.