You are right, 27 is “just a number” but I’m looking for a man, not a boy.
PS: Save my number… just in case I change my mind.
WAITER: Would you like the usual, Mr Smith?
MR SMITH: *all smugly* Do birds fly?
*Penguin at the next table slams down his menu*
You Might Also Like
HER: I like classic cars
ME: ugh do not get me started on the sequels
WIFE: Did you sleep with my sister?
They say women only use 10% of their anger
I definitely thought I would have shot the lock off of something by now in my life.
[god inventing humans]
angel: what does it do
god: creates, loves, invents…
god: storms area 51 in the style of an anime character
god: it also makes quiche
[i drop my costco card in front of a hot girl] haha WOOPS! accident. yeah i have a costco membership. not really a big deal tbh
Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first.
My internet boyfriend doesn’t know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them.