@CornOnTheGoblin: [waits until purge night to illegally download music]
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@AbrasiveGhost: Search History: Cat armor Buy armor for cats Cat jousting tournaments How to stop armored cats Cat army how to stop national guard phone #
@FrogAvalanche: "Wheres the goddamn pizzas?" Me: Check the pizza tracker. *bends down, touches ground* "A pizza will walk here before the moon is full."
@PJTLynch: *wife sees me crying* Her: What's going on? Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet? They think I'm pee!