What happens when Christopher’s car breaks down?
*wakes up to wife and son screaming*
me: What are you guys yelling about?
them: YOU’RE DRIVING
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i think about this illustration by cécile dormeau a lot
I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by hacking into State Farm’s main server and deleting the 4 DUIs.
Website: Are you a robot?
Me: *sighs* Man, if only.
I have two selves:
One wants to be skinny and my jeans to fit. The other is a fat, hungry monster who would murder her own grandmother for a butterfinger.
Sign of the times. 😒
#Hoarders #COVIDー19 #COVID #CoronaOutbreak
COP: [flashes his light into my car]
ME: *struggles to roll down window* “Sorry this isn’t my car.”
Yes, I absolutely want to hear about your cat’s medication.
The cheapest workout for your core is standing on the train without holding onto anything.
how to be a yogi
1. do a good stretch
2. get ready to steal hella picnic baskets