We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@PleaseBeGneiss: [walking out of restaurant]
DATE: let’s do this again
ME: thank god I’m starving
@Goofpoops: If Kevin Spacey doesn't sign his name like this
Then he's pretty damn stupid...
@EricaLynnz: If you're driving a getaway car just remember the best way to lose the cops is to ship them via the post office
@TheDairylandDon: As I basted the turkey, I swear I heard it say "just not in my hair"
@Jake_Vig: [engineer looking at blueprints]
"Well, here's your problem right here. You built this thing on rock and roll."
@llvvzz: If you honk at me at a light, I turn off my engine, get out and blow up my car. I think it’s important to demonstrate what true commitment to road rage looks like.