@WineMummy: Want to leave a lasting impression? Show up three hours late for a first date.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: [on a first date] Me: So do you like puppies? Her: Oh I love them Me: Ok, so we'll both have the puppies Waiter: Excellent choice, sir
@Dong_Hanger: Oh you can bench 50 kilograms? I literally don't know if that's 100 pounds or a billion.
@Sarcasticsapien: [walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough, but thank you for not showing me pictures of your kids.