Huge respect for Parasite, but Ford v Ferrari deserved to win just for the opening scene
Was gonna be a professional quarterback but I didn’t wanna injure my chip dipping arm.
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HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing?
ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.
Oh you’re a jogger? Good for you. I just burned 3000 calories in under 30 minutes.
Can’t believe I forgot that pizza was in the oven.
Ghost Obi-Wan: You will go to the Dagobah system
Luke: Dagobah system?
Ghost Obi-Wan: There you will learn from Yoda
Ghost Obi-Wan: mostly about doing handstands
Ghost Obi-Wan: he’s really big on handstands honestly it’s like 96% handstands
🎶 It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie 🎶
Me: I don’t believe the world is round…
Flat Earthers: *getting visibly excited*
Me: …because it’s actually an oblate spheroid
Flat Earthers: Is that…how flat is that
Sorry my ringtone of NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye went off during the funeral
DATE:[texting friend] he keeps comparing stuff to athletes
ME: *returning from bathroom* man they got the michael jordan of toilets in there
Hold on I’m about to count my money. Alright I’m done.