I paid $5.99 for The Interview. I now want North Korea to kill me.
Water Polo is one shark away from being the most entertaining sport around
You Might Also Like
I’ve never wanted a mansion. Not because I’m modest- I just don’t need more places to lose my keys.
What is your dream car and why?
Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS
If watching 80’s music videos has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t need talent if you have a fog machine.
As Newton once said, “For every male action, there is a female over-reaction”.
Actually, not all of the creatures from Jurassic Park were from the Jurassic period. Jeff Goldblum, for example. He’s from now.
Me: Just once?
Me: Say, “I’m a law-biting citizen”
Dog: That’s not water in your cup, is it?
Date: I’m really big into astrology, I’m a Scorpio
Me: *trying to impress* I’m a tarantula
It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.
Clearly I have no shame but thanks for asking. You must be new here.