JK ROWLING: dumbledore and grindelwald had sex
JK ROWLING: so did you and dobby
JK ROWLING: you will never feel love like that again
Water towers were invented so angst ridden teenagers had something to climb in 80s movies.
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don’t hate robert altman’s 1992 satirical comedy “the player” hate david fincher’s 1997 psychological thriller “the game”
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like….
‘I’ve got nothing man.’
[@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview]
Boss: Your resume says you are “definitely not 3 ducks in a suit.”
3 Ducks In A Suit: That’s correct
how come i dont pee bubbles when i drink Sprite
[hits it again]
ah guess its ok, wouldn’t want a tingly dingus
the council will decide your fate
me: *fixing something*
him: that’s not broken
me: well, it is now
[Baby crying in a movie theater]
Me: “What’s his name?”
Me: “The movie’s starting, Ethan.”
The person with duct tape holding most of their car together always has the right-of-way.
CREATION OF THE WORLD DAY 1
ANGEL: I’m looking forward to watching this project evolve.
GOD: We NEVER use that word here