My sexual orientation is definitely Landscape. I dabbled with Portrait but my legs got tired.
We are never going to defeat the Decepticons, they are too good. I mean Bumblebee can’t even talk!
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[boss closing his door] I’m glad you enjoyed your trip down south but [the beads in my braids clack together as I turn] but what
People in 2050 be like “your boyfriend broke up with you? Don’t worry, there is plenty of plastic in the sea.”
That awkward moment when u lock binoculars with your neighbor.
me: we should have a housewarming party
dad: [moving to block the thermostat] a what now
I’ve learned there are two types of people in this world:
People I trust to help me bury bodies…
When children vomit, sometimes it sounds like they’re saying the names of Ikea furniture.
“JUMP AROUND! JUMP AROUND! JUMP UP JUMP UP AND GET DOWN!!”
A group of baby bunnies: HELL YES THIS IS OUR SONG
I guess knocking on random dressing room doors in a department store and asking “hey, can I see how you look?” is frowned upon.
Doctor: Looks like you’re pregnant.
Me: I’m pregnant?
Doctor: No it just looks like you are.