simba: lot of dead dads out today
“We are out of oranges” he said, fruitlessly.
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I said hi to someone and a bug flew into my mouth. Lesson learned.
I’m “by the time I find a gif, the conversation topic has changed” awkward in dm groups.
throwin a party tonight
raccoons $10 since y’all wanna be both
I can’t believe these kids at this lemonade stand expect me to provide my own vodka.
Coworker: How’s your worksite?
Me: I can see my work fine thank you.
Nothing better than corn-flavored…corn.
Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we.
*Buys world map*
*Pins map to wall*
*Promises to visit wherever dart lands*
*Throws dart at fridge*
Donald Trump is like the “Scream” movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.