We have a fun thing at work where we hide things as a joke. For example, I just hid Nicole’s bowl of candy corn in the dumpster outside.

You Might Also Like


Lackadaisical: when you have misplaced your daisical.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch an ounce of ganja
Jack lit up and took a puff
And Jill cuffed him. She was DEA. Jack died in prison.



*gets a snack*


*turns on tv*


*glances at twitter for 8 seconds*



Me training a new person at my job:
“So you’re not really suppose to do this but this is what I do”


My family crest just says, “Yo, can I crash on your couch for a while?”


Have you ever looked at someone & thought, you sure could benefit from getting a library card?


The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I’m hoping there’s gonna be a sniper.


Am I capable of premeditated murder?

Your honor, I’ve been planning my cheat day for two weeks.