Lackadaisical: when you have misplaced your daisical.
We have a fun thing at work where we hide things as a joke. For example, I just hid Nicole’s bowl of candy corn in the dumpster outside.
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Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch an ounce of ganja
Jack lit up and took a puff
And Jill cuffed him. She was DEA. Jack died in prison.
Just walked in front of my cat’s screen while he was on a zoom call.
Kik you? Like what? In the face?
*gets a snack*
*turns on tv*
*glances at twitter for 8 seconds*
Me training a new person at my job:
“So you’re not really suppose to do this but this is what I do”
My family crest just says, “Yo, can I crash on your couch for a while?”
Have you ever looked at someone & thought, you sure could benefit from getting a library card?
The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I’m hoping there’s gonna be a sniper.
Am I capable of premeditated murder?
Your honor, I’ve been planning my cheat day for two weeks.