We need some more ugly celebrities. You can’t all be talented AND hot!!!!

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Oh man almost forgot the trash
*takes trash out, a nice little sushi place*
This is great
*sees wife there with the recycling*


HR: Did you call an employee stupid?

Me: No, I asked if he knew he was stupid.


“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.


funny how siblings excel at different things for instance I’m the funny one and my brother is the successful one


My cat has made it very clear that we will not be getting rid of the box that I want to get rid of.


*goes on Facebook AGAIN*
*reads 100,000th idiotic post*
*thinks other people are stupid*


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Meet me in bed
To learn something new

Pfff….poetry is easy