@markleggett: We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams.
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@TechnicallyRon: Lifehack: Turn any noun into an insult by simply putting 'You absolute' before it. Examples: You absolute drum You absolute fridge You absolute shed You absolute goose You absolute bollard
@petemandik: I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe.
@UnFitz: Her: I’ve travelled the world and the 7 seas... Me: That’s redundant. Seas are part of the world. Her: Her: Some of us want to abuse you.
@Book_Krazy: Me: *[pulls back shower curtain] "Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes" Him: "Who the hell are you and should I be scared?"