We say “life is short,” but really, most of us expect to die in old age. This expectation exposes our fear of death, not our understanding of life. Life doesn’t have a knowable length or a right length. It ends when it ends.

Cashier: So… you don’t want fries?

Me: No, I do.

You Might Also Like


My therapist told me “Write letters to the people you hate, and then burn them.” Did that, but now I don’t know what to do with the letters.


Customer: can you get me some sandwich sauce

Waitress: mayo?

Customer: FINE, may you get me some sandwich sauce


Kid: How did you meet daddy?
Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion…


A coven of witches with grandkids who call themselves the PentaGrans.

Thanks for following.


*stirs coffee with knife*

*licks knife*

“Let’s do this”

*wakes kids for school*


Me: Let’s go outside & make love in the rain.

Her: What if there’s lightning?

Me: Then you get to be on top…


my wife’s friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he’s having a hard time even looking at me