5yo: Curious George is not a monkey
Me: yes he is
5yo: no he isn’t, he doesn’t have a tail, he’s an ape
Me: he definitely has a— *googling pics of Curious George* omg
We went to the planetarium today and when the voiceover said “this is the earth” one of the kids booed
You Might Also Like
Texting my wife when we were dating – What are you wearing?
Texting my wife now – Did the dog poop?
Him: [handing me $20] here’s your Christmas present
Me: thanks [handing it back] here’s yours
Can’t afford the chiropractor so I’m just going to lay down in the road and hope for the best.
My kids keep asking for a cat, so tonight we’re watching Pet Cemetery.
I’m sorry we fought. I hate it when you’re wrong.
Me: “I came to Twitter to be creative and express myself.”
Twitter: lol, you said “came”.
My grandparents had a Radio and had 9 kids; My parents had a TV and had 3 kids; and I have Twitter and I think the family ends here.
Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength then I’m gonna need some bail money on the side.
Friend: can I borrow £20?
*slides me £20
Friend: How about now?